Portland Police Pussy Out, Take Their Toys, Move Away

You have to respect Portland Police Association Executive Director Daryl Turner for posting the below on Facebook. After all, if you’re an elite troop of racist murderers, you probably want to spread your news where other racists hang out, right? And what better place to inform the lowest common denominator of Intolerant Pig-Fuckers in Portland than Facebook? Smart guy, that Daryl. Smart guy indeed.

“Over six years ago, the Portland Police Association (PPA) relocated from our long-time office location in Northwest Portland to a building on Lombard just west of I-5 in North Portland. And we wanted to be part of the community there. The Lombard building had previously housed a card room with a reputation of parties, illegal drug use; and the remnants of late-night partying were often left on neighborhood streets and sidewalks.”

Note the multiple mentions of abhorrent behavior there: card room, illegal drugs, and (gasp!) PARTIES! Oh no! Not PARTIES! And not only that, there were “remnants of late-night partying” left on streets! Of course, Daryl knows that no one in North Portland uses Facebook and therefore can’t very well remind him that the streets and sidewalks of NoPo have been littered with the same trash throughout the entire time the police have been located on Lombard.

“The neighbors welcomed us and were glad to have the police union and police cars there. The community supported us and dropped by to say hello. We opened a Rest Stop for officers, so they had a place to come have lunch, use the restroom, and write reports. Time and again we heard from folks that they felt safer in the neighborhood and were thankful to have things cleaned up.”

I assume the “Rest Stop for officers” he’s referring to is the Heavenly Donut location on the corner of Denver and Lombard, right next door to the 7-Eleven where every patron gets a free Slurpee with each gang shooting. Yeah, the whole neighborhood felt REALLY safe, Daryl. But do continue, ok?

“As our building became the target of vandalism and arson last summer, there were several times that our neighbors helped paint over vile and vulgar graffiti scrawled across the outside walls and picked up trash and garbage. And as the rioting escalated at our location, we felt that the community was more and more at risk. At the most recent arson incident, a neighbor stood on the sidewalk with a water hose trying to put the fire out just before first responders arrived. It went too far and it was time to find another location. We have since moved out and relocated. The Lombard building will be repaired and, at a later date, put on the market to sell.”

Image stolen from KXL without permission, but it’s ok, they stole it from someone else

Vile and vulgar graffiti? What I think Daryl meant to say here was “anti-Portland Police graffiti.” Most of the so-called vulgarity here is more than warranted, all things considered.

“We want to take this opportunity to thank the North Portland and Kenton community and particularly the business owners located adjacent to the building. We appreciate their support and patience over the last year. We thank them for their tolerance. And we hope that with our relocation, they can have some peace.”

What a whiney fucking way to say goodbye to the people you just got done claiming supported you, thanked you, and appreciated you. Why not merely write “Fuck you guys. We’re outta here! Good fucking luck, you pricks!” It would at least feel somewhat honest. Instead, Daryl writes a crybaby send-off designed to elicit all manner of right-wing fuckheads responding with support dreck like this:

“These lawless cities?”

Oh Joe, you so silly. There’s plenty of law in this city, you just can’t count on Portland Police to have a hand in it.

Photo from Tito Texidor III at Unsplash

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