I Was Banned from Twitter for Insulting Facebook

I was banned from twitter

For the third time in my life – and the third time in less than 2 years – I’ve been banned from Twitter. I should clarify, I’m currently suspended, following a ban, after which I agreed to delete a tweet to regain access. At the moment though, I cannot tweet anything to anyone for a period of nearly 7 days. I assume this is my “punishment.”

Yes, I’ve been grounded by my dad, Jack, the fuckstick that runs Twitter.

Here is what I see when I attempt to tweet:

According to Twitter, I violated RULE NUMERO UNO – the MOST IMPORTANT RULE IN ALL OF THE TWITTERVERSE:

Except that I didn’t.

What I tweeted was this:

Fuck @facebook, fuck @cbsthismorning, and fuck @gayleking. When you spread propaganda for Satan you should expect to be counted with them.

This tweet was in response to a tweet from @cbsthismorning where they were oh so excited about how Mark Zuckerberg was going to be featured on their shit morning show demonstrating some crappy new Facebook feature designed to distract you from the fact that the feds are actively looking to break up that shit show of a social network. At no time were any threats of violence made, nor was I harassing anyone based on their race, ethnicity, national origin, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, religious affiliation, age, disability, or serious disease. Anyone that knows me at all knows that I would never, ever do such a thing and that I am only biased toward people that actually DO harass others based on those criteria. That and people who lack common decency.

Now, I’m not stupid. You could probably make the argument, albeit it’s a stretch to do so, that I lack said common decency by tweeting the f-word 3 times in the above tweet. Hell, I might even agree that it was a single fuck too many, but I stand behind my statement. When your shitty TV network is so enamored with Facebook’s money and the resulting clicks and viewership that go along with it, fuck you. When your name is Gayle King and you agree to mindlessly go along with it, fuck you too.

Facebook is the epitome of evil. No one, not even God (take your pick which one), could convince me otherwise. They’ve helped to spread misinformation, they’ve lied about it, they’ve interfered with investigations into it, and they’re really just a bunch of fucking assholes. When you get in bed with a company like Facebook for any reason, you really should expect blowback. My version of blowback above is hardly as sinister as the thousands of tweets containing politically motivated hate-speech that Twitter allows on its platform every single day of the year.

But, you already know all of that. For now, my profile sits in limbo with the offending tweet auto-deleted by the Righteous Regime that is Twitter. In its place, a simple stupid message.

I agreed to “delete” the tweet, knowing that it was already deleted anyway. Why the mouthbreathers at Twitter require you to “agree” to it, I’m not sure. It reeks of “yes daddy, I stole a candy bar and know I am a very very bad boy” but whatever.

So yeah, I’ll be back in a week, but all I’ve learned, Jack (you self-righteous fuck), is that I need to use bigger words than “fuck” and “Satan” next time.

For now, fuck you, Twitter, you pathetic, sub-Facebook level little Satan fuckers.

1 Comment

  1. […] I’m 5 days into my 7-day sentence, having been punished by the Twitter Powers That Be for something I didn’t actually do. It’s a long, sordid story that you can read about here. […]

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